How to set healthy boundaries for the holidays as a nurse
Healthy boundaries are crucial for those in the healthcare industry, particularly for nurses, who spend 100% of their time caring for and meeting the needs of others. Not only are these boundaries necessary to set within your work role, they’re also important outside of work.
Nurses are caring and nurturing individuals by nature. Many times saying “no” or “I can’t” feels unthinkable or elicits feelings of guilt. In a world of immediate communication, it also becomes challenging to unplug from constant texts, calls, and social media.
Over time, failing to set boundaries becomes harmful as we continue putting others before ourselves at work and in our personal lives. Inevitably, this leads to feelings of resentment that take tremendous mental, physical, and emotional tolls on ourselves and our relationships when left unchecked.
Healthy boundaries are empowering limits you place around your time, emotions, and mental health to stay resilient and protect your well-being.
During the holiday season, this becomes even more challenging. We are inundated with additional obligations as our work is amping up during the busiest time of year as work environments flex and expand to accommodate an influx of ill patients. We feel pulled to pick up extra shifts to cover call-offs, holiday vacations, and assist with the continued strain on the workforce with staffing issues. We push ourselves to an absolute breaking point, feeling pressured to be organized, productive, and cheerful during an often strained season.
Check out these strategies that will allow you to enjoy the holidays by adding value and meaning to the season.
Set realistic holiday season time limits.
This is one of the most challenging things to do and encompasses many things. Stop overcommitting to people, including social and work obligations. Don’t attend events you don’t want to or designate how much time you will allocate for each thing. Choose the most important things you plan to attend and can feasibly do so, and graciously say “no” to the rest.
Feeling pressured to work extra can produce feelings of guilt. However, meeting your own needs is crucial to providing care to others and is nothing to be ashamed of or feel guilty about. Stop feeling obligated to pick up extra shifts if you can’t. If a co-worker or your manager needs help covering a shift, kindly say you are unable to help this time when it’s just not feasible.
Stop feeling pulled to do things out of fear of letting others down, including yourself. This is easier said than done. However, there is only a finite amount of time, and saying “no” is a single act of boundary setting that becomes especially crucial during an exceedingly busy time of year. Being intentional in how you spend your time and putting a plan in place ahead of the holidays reduces a considerable amount of holiday anxiety and time wasted on doing things that do not add value to your life.
Try to stick to your everyday routines.
With all the extra things we do to prepare for and celebrate, it’s easy to sideline your everyday routines. This can contribute to holiday stress as you try to cram more things in. This involves setting boundaries with yourself to continue doing things important to you and your health and well-being. Keep up with self-care, workout routines, and your usual household practices as much as possible. This will ensure it’s easy to pick them back up when the holidays are over and help you stay organized and on top of household chores.
Be fiscally responsible.
It is so easy to overspend when you are part of the most nurturing, giving, and caring professions. This leads to financial stress and picking up extra shifts that you may not have the time to do. It’s also easy to overcommit to events and gifting that forces you to reallocate holiday spending elsewhere, which can cause moral distress. Holiday travel can also rack up dollars that cannot be used elsewhere. Setting financial boundaries can be challenging but will help maneuver holiday spending by keeping a close track of how your dollars are spent by sticking to a budget you feel comfortable with that is affordable.
Disconnect so that you can reconnect.
In a world of immediate responses and oversharing, it is easy to get caught up in what everyone else is doing and sharing. People share all of their best moments on social media which can feel isolating and intimidating to others. The need to immediately respond to texts, calls, or emails detracts from your happiness and holiday moments.
Allow yourself time to set your devices aside to be present in your life moments and holiday cheer. Detach from social media to be fully vested in your celebrations. If you are having a tough holiday season, set aside social media for a period that feels necessary if you find it causing distress. When you have time off work, take that time to be free of work obligations and emails if you can. Make time to connect with your loved ones in a way that is meaningful and relaxed, without distractions.
Accept help when needed.
Nurses are eternal do-it-ourself-ers, multitaskers, and the first to extend an outstretched hand to all. This makes asking for and receiving help feel impossible. Allow yourself to receive support from others and ask for help in times of need and struggles at work or home. Allow others to share in hosting or to help you with tasks you have limited time to complete. Admit when you’ve taken on too much instead of powering through, and never feel guilty in telling others you are unable to host or assist with a holiday event if you don’t feel up to it. Asking for or accepting help is NOT a sign of weakness but shows strength and emotional intelligence in understanding your limitations.
Today, I challenge you to reflect on healthy boundaries during the holidays to reduce the stress and anxiety that takes away from the season. Think of implementing strategies that will be healthier for yourself now and that you can put into place during future holiday seasons. In doing so, you will be more present for others and, more importantly, yourself