Navigating nursing school as a single parent
If you rise before the sun and begin and end each day cloaked in the profound exhaustion that results from leaving your needs last to be met, you might be a single parent. One who pulls long hours at a job you aren’t crazy about, barely scraping by to get food on the table; one who lives in a cycle of constantly assessing which bills need to be paid next.
Yet - yet - you still dream.
Perhaps it was a career goal you put on hold years ago, or maybe it’s a recent interest? Whatever the spark, contemplating what life might be like as an RN can insistently flame an interest that’s hard to extinguish. Logistically, balancing work, family life and nursing school is extremely challenging. Doing it as a single parent is decidedly trickier.
But it’s not impossible.
No two single-parent situations are alike. For as many that have a supportive and involved co-parent who will be willing to pick up the slack and who sees a win for you professionally as a win for your offspring, too, there will be twice as many who do not come close to this. In any case, single parenting is daunting on its own; studies show that single moms in particular score higher for anxiety, depression, and stress levels.
Yet.
The very qualities that make you an incredible single parent—diligence, responsibility, time-management, to name a few—will be the very things that set you up for success as a nursing student. Here are the ways to begin.
Scaffold your support system
Nurses are notorious for extreme self-neglect. As a single parent, you’re likely practicing this not-so-heathy behavior already. That’s why prioritizing support will need to be tackled before you even think of applying to schools. You don’t need all the details ironed out. But it’s important to build the support frame—the nuances can be spackled in later.
Support systems come in all shapes and sizes. It may mean looking into aftercare for school-age kids, or extended hours at daycare for littler guys. It may mean arranging for weekend care if you plan on completing clinicals around a current weekday 9-5 job. It will definitely mean an added serving of single-parent guilt. This is why an ideal support system will care for your family and you.
Family typically tops the list for back-up care, but that’s not an option for everyone. In that case, friends (especially fellow single parents), church/religious organizations, mom groups, or nanny-shares can help to fill in the gaps. Even if you’ve managed to juggle this whole single-parent thing up until now, adding nursing school decreases your wiggle room. Most programs only allow one or two absences once clinicals begin; being the only one who can stay home with a sick kid may inadvertently cause you to lose an entire semester of school.
Bomb-proof your budget
Understanding your financial health is a key component of assessing nursing school readiness. If you’ve never created a sustainable budget for yourself, now is the time to nail it down. Start by journaling any and all purchases. This accomplishes two things: It will give you the most realistic look at where your money really goes, and it will help you to see where you can tweak some expenses to make room for school costs.
Nursing school isn’t cheap, but the good news is that there are tons of financial aid options— grants, loans, even scholarships specifically for single moms! Just keep in mind that you’ll need to factor in additional expenses like scrubs, books, commuting to clinicals, course fees, and equipment into your budget as well.
As a single parent, you also value the importance of having a financial safety net in place. The reality of balancing a job, family, and school simultaneously means there may be times when all three aren't possible. In order to get a return on investment with nursing school (graduating and passing your NCLEX, and becoming gainfully employed) you may find that keeping your current work schedule with perfect attendance isn’t realistic. If feasible, speak to your employer about your intentions to begin nursing school—you may be surprised to find that part of your support system lies there!
Self-care is essential
We’ve established that single parents and nurses often default to putting themselves last. And guess what? That is the surest way to fast track yourself to burnout in all areas of your life. As a single parent, your brain is already primed to care for others first; and though it sounds noble and altruistic, the reality is that you can be neither a stellar nurse nor a stellar parent when you’re worn to the bone.
As it turns out, self-care doesn’t have to be this huge undertaking. It can be as simple as waking up a few minutes before the family to enjoy hot coffee while jotting down a few things you’re grateful for. It can mean taking the dog for a walk around the block. It can mean securing a babysitter to blow off steam with your future nursing school besties. Whatever beckons to you, stick with it for a beat, and remember that it takes 21 days to make it a habit.
The life of a single parent revolves around a never ending to-do list. Same goes for nursing students. Carving out time for yourself is an investment in Future You. It’s a practice that will never let you down, and it may indeed be the secret sauce that sees you through nursing school and beyond.
One final word of advice—don’t forget to lean on one of your best resources: the folks here at NurseDeck! We’ve got tons of helpful guides for reframing work-life balance, solidarity with your fellow working parents, and strategies for keeping all those balls in the air. We also have a fantastic support scene over at NurseSocial, with niche groups for nursing students, working parents, and every combination in between.