The Work-Life Juggle
It’s 5 am. It’s dark out, and most of the house is still sleeping. Having just “sprung forward,” even the sun has another two and a half hours before starting its day. My coffee is currently steaming on the side table, where it will stay mostly untouched, awaiting a series of microwave reheats before being consumed. Why can’t I enjoy it hot? Mostly on account of the baby— snoring lightly, milk-drunk—that I am cradling on my left arm. And in my right hand—my phone that currently dictating these words into.
Is this what they call “work-life balance?” Because it feels more like “juggling work-life balance.”
Curious, I look up definitions of the two words. The most striking difference I note is that while ‘juggling’ is predominantly a verb, ‘balance,’ is a noun. Certainly in the context of “work-life” analogies, ‘balance’ is presented in this way: something to achieve, a state of being, rather than the continuous management that it actually entails.
I don’t know about you, but ’juggle’ seems like a much more accurate description of how my work-life experience is going. According to the Oxford Languages dictionary, ‘to juggle ‘ is to handle or deal with usually several things (such as obligations) at one time so as to satisfy often competing requirements.
Sounds…messy.
‘Balance,’ on the other hand, is defined as a a state of equilibrium; a harmonious arrangement or relation of parts or elements within a whole (as in a design).
Sounds peaceful…but foreign.
Something the two words have in common? They both cite working mothers as their sentence examples. Now, that I can relate to!
Working nurse moms have it especially hard. Most childcare arrangements operate by providing standard 9-5 workday coverage. This still leaves a significant gap for hospital-based nurses, who often work 12s. In this case, hopefully a partner that works more traditional hours can step in, or a network of family (and/or friends) must be relied upon to pick up kids and get them home.
And once everyone’s home? Women are still the primary caretaker for the children and the household. That means meals, homework, bedtime routines etc. all still fall under mom’s jurisdiction.
So…when exactly does this balance enter the equation?
Well, like everything else, it’s up moms to achieve it. Or what I think is more accurate—it’s up to moms to juggle it.
Working nurse moms that also happen to be expert jugglers have a few things in common. While it’s true that everyone’s three-ring circus looks different, there are several things these juggler moms do when it comes to running a successful household. Let’s dive in to some of the ways they make this happen.
Juggler moms understand that balance equals sacrifice. There are only 24 hours in the day, and if you are working as most nurses do, that means 13 of them involve being at a hospital. On days that they work, these moms know that they won’t get a home cooked meal on the table, or even be present for bedtime. In other words, they know they won’t get to it all. So,they have plans in place for other people (partners/family) to step in. What’s more, simply having these expectations in check significantly decreases the stress of trying to “do it all.”
Juggler moms separate work from home. A mom that is worried about work issues while at home is a perfect recipe for creating a mom who feels guilty for not being present with her kids. And your kids deserve a mom who is mentally there with them, and not just going through the motions and feeling bad for doing so. How you achieve this separation will be unique to you, but find a way to be mindful about it. “Balance” here isn’t about magically creating new hours in the day to devote to your family, but more so about using the ones you do have in a meaningful way. 10 minutes with Mom fully present has much more of an impact on kids, than an hour with a distracted mom.
Juggler moms make schedules (and schedule “me time” on it, too). You know all those browser windows you have open in your head? The ones that remember it’s Wacky Wednesday at school tomorrow, and that you’re running low on milk, and that it’s almost time to schedule Rover’s rabies vaccine? Yeah, all that brain gobbledygook needs a place to land, and that place is a simple schedule that everyone in your family can add to, and follow. In addition, something that needs to go on that schedule is time for YOU. Maybe it’s going the gym, or a dog walk, or a bath, but make the time. Otherwise you may find yourself doing that insane thing that overtired moms do…that staying-up-late-scrolling-social-media-when-you-really-ought-to-be-sleeping-but-its-the-only-quiet-moment-you’ve-had-all-day-so-you-can’t-help-it thing.
Juggler Moms ask for help. Want to know a secret? The only way to keep all those balls in the air is to have extra jugglers. Whether that be a housecleaner once a month, grocery delivery, carpool pods, or heck, even having your kids help with age-appropriate chores, you simply cannot do it all. Think of the one task that is stressing you out the most, and that’s probably a good clue as to where to start.
Finally, it’s ok to say NO. No to working overtime, no to covering someone’s shift, no to birthday parties, no to extended family obligations. This single skill will up your juggling game like no other, guaranteed, because it removes a ball that needs to be juggled. In the nurse mom’s quest to achieve work-life balance, we must understand that we are capable, clever, and most-of-all—human. Sometimes a ball will drop, but from that we must learn and grow and carry on tomorrow.